Monday, May 17, 2021

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks - Week 20 "Cousin Bait"

COUSINS MEET AFTER 80 YEARS

Newspapers and television broadcasts frequently have human interest stories of family members meeting after many years apart.  Back in 2012 I took part in arranging for my then 87 year old mother to reconnect with her then 85 year old cousin after 80 years apart.

I personally thought it was a slow news day in South Bend, Indiana but alas nobody in the media appeared to cover this story.  Instead I had to cover the event myself!

A few years earlier I had received an e-mail from a person who had come across my blog.  While I frequently receive such e-mails, none have ever had a connection with my mother's paternal grandmother's family which is the Rubis line from Poland.  My mother knew very little about her grandmother who had passed away in 1918 long before my mother was born.  My mother did know that her paternal grandparents had a very rocky marriage and had separated around 1900 and that her grandmother then had connected with another gentleman, moved to South Bend, Indiana from Bay City, Michigan where she gave birth to 7 more children with this gentleman before she passed away in 1918.

That was why this e-mail I received a few years earlier surprised and pleased me as the woman writing indicated she had seen my blog, noted the banner on the blog that contained the 4 photos of my great-grandmothers and recognized the name of Mary Rubis Kijak.  This writer, D, told me that she believed my great-grandmother was her husband's great-grandmother as well.

E-mails went back and forth between D and myself.  She indicated that her mother-in-law was the daughter of Mary Rubis Kijak's oldest child from her relationship with Frank Banner, Sr.  While my mother knew that there were children from her grandmother's life with Mr. Banner she only remembered them from her childhood.  Living in the fruit belt of Southwest Michigan (St. Joseph) it was common for family members from other areas to visit St. Joe during the summer to take the fresh produce home.  Evidently members of the Banner family would frequently do so, coming from nearby South Bend, Indiana (35 miles) and my mother remembered playing with these half cousins when they were children.

D and I exchanged information and I learned that D's mother-in-law, Betty, was very eager to see my mother again.  My mother as well was eager and did remember Betty as a child though 80 years had gone by.

On August 22, 2012 we had our reunion.  My mother and I drove from St. Joe to Mishawaka, Indiana and met Betty and her daughter-in-law, D, at a restaurant where we had a wonderful lunch and long conversations.  Both D and Betty had brought scads of photos with them.  Out came my Flip Pal scanner and I was able to scan all the photos right there at the table.  After lunch we went to Betty's house, near the Notre Dame campus, for some further visiting.  

Here is a photo of my mother (left) and Betty (right) at their reunion:


When there are sensitive issues involving ancestors it is often difficult to learn any of the details involved but Betty was very forthcoming with information on my great-grandmother's second family that I had not been aware of.  It was a very special reunion in many ways and one that my mother and Betty were so grateful for.

The next year D and I arranged another reunion with my mother, Betty and two other cousins, Martha and Evelyn.  Again we traveled to Mishawaka, Indiana and the 4 cousins had a grand reunion that all thoroughly enjoyed.

Here are the 4 cousins at that reunion with Betty and my mother in the back row standing and Evelyn and Martha sitting:


Again, in 2015, the 3 cousins and D traveled to St. Joe to take part in my mother's 90th birthday celebration.  Even after so many years apart the 4 women thoroughly enjoyed spending time together.

Since then both my mother and Martha have passed away.  D and I still correspond and discuss how happy we are that we were able to get the cousins together when we did.  

And I learned a valuable genealogical lesson - "never say never" as there are always avenues to explore that will lead to new discoveries.  

Copyright 2021, Cheryl J. Schulte

2 comments:

Barb LaFara said...

What a fantastic story of a family reunion. You figured correctly that my mother was born the same year as your mother. Another coincidence is my mother spent some of her childhood living in South Bend/Mishawaka with her grandparents.

Cheryl said...

Thanks for stopping by, Barb. It's a small world for sure.